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08/09/2005 Archived Entry: "Bad News, Again"

This is a tough post to write, but it needs to be done.

The cancer I had a few years ago (October 03) has recurred, and spread. I'll be doing chemotherapy; my first treatment is this Thursday, August 11. If the treatments work, I'll also have radiation and hormone therapy.

Right now I'm not feeling bad, but there are a raft of side effects from the chemo that I'm preparing for -- hair loss, fatigue, pain, constipation (!). There are other drugs to help with most of those, plus coping strategies. Sasha the oncology nurse says that folks who are doing 30 minutes of aerobic exercise every day tolerate chemo better and have better outcomes generally than those who don't, so I need to go back to Curves and do DDR when I can't get there.

Family and friends will be helping me with grandson R----. My friend Luke McGuff will be coordinating that.

Jack has been great! I know this is very hard for him. Fortunately he is able to work at home sometimes, and make up hours on the weekend. I'll probably put most details on my journal as they happen (equivalent of lj cut).

Posted by Nancy White @ 08/19/2005 07:02 AM PST

Hi Anita,
I was googling myself :) and found that you've got me in your journal a bit. So I checked out what you are up to. It's fun to see some of your old pages about the good old days, it's a good record of our memories. But my stomach clenched when I read the last entry of your cancer reoccurrence. I'm sorry for this (not my stomach clenching).
I have begun a strict regimen of thinking of you and sending you good thoughts.
I just moved to Burbank california (to be with Jesse, do you remember Jesse Prince from the Swing Kids days?), so I've got the whole state of Cali from which I can suck energy to send to you. I am thinking of myself as the turnstile for all this sunshine and nice things. And also the filter, because southern california has a lot of silly things that won't help you if I send them to you telepathically. I'm like a laser. Can you feel it?

Alright Anita, You do your best. You've got all sorts of people holding you up, including the state of california. Arnold too (although I might filter him out, nobody seems to like him down here. All kinds of angry commercials on tv...).
Good job, high five, and swing out.
Love
Jen Paur Superstar

Posted by Jen Paur @ 08/16/2005 09:52 AM PST

Hi Anita,

So sorry to hear of this calamity in your life. Prayers and positive thoughts for you, Jack and R.

Lynn Johanna & Ron Robbins

Posted by Lynn Johanna @ 08/16/2005 09:44 AM PST

Oh, Anita, do trust you'll come through this bad patch as lightly as possible. I'm not especially good with kids but would be glad to help with other things, and I'm not working right now. Frex: let me know if you'd like to be driven in a van with a couch and a loo if you're feeling extra sick but have appointments. Or paperwork or such I could do... And if all others fail I'll do my best with the babysitting as well.
Judy

Posted by Judy R. Johnson @ 08/15/2005 05:23 PM PST

Aw, Anita, aw fuck. She said coherently. We would like the good guys to have a break and for nasty things to happy to the BAD guys for a change.

You're in our thoughts and our hearts.

Posted by Andi and Stu @ 08/15/2005 07:06 AM PST

I'm sorry to hear this, Anita. Please know that my thoughts are with you and that all my wishes are for a speedy--and permanent--recovery. I'll be getting in touch with Luke to see if there's any way I can help out.

Posted by Janna @ 08/15/2005 04:50 AM PST

My thoughts and prayers sent your way, Anita. So sorry to hear this news and I am wishing you a speedy and complete recovery.

Posted by deb @ 08/15/2005 01:00 AM PST

Suzle and I heard from Eileen during worldcon and were shocked and dismayed. When we get back, we'll check in with Luke about what we can do to help.

Now we're going to be resolutely cheerful and hopeful. We send our love. You're good at organizing and I know you'll get all your ducks in a row and shoot them off again as needed.

Posted by Jerry Kaufman @ 08/15/2005 12:30 AM PST

I'm sorry to hear this. I will be thinking of you, and wish you the best. Let John and I know if there is anything you need.

Posted by mikey @ 08/14/2005 06:56 PM PST

What tough news. Here's to getting through the treatments with your tremendous store of grace and courage. Go for that DDR!

Posted by Lucy Huntzinger @ 08/13/2005 08:44 PM PST

I've missed you in NWR world . . . now it makes sense. [hugs] You already know you're tough - I hope you also know you're much respected and loved. Keep us posted . . . (If having a Curves partner would help, call me)- h.

Posted by Honora @ 08/13/2005 03:32 PM PST

Thinking of you, and joining everyone in hoping for the best for you.

Posted by Elaine @ 08/13/2005 09:05 AM PST

Holding you in the light with love.

Posted by Frank Paynter @ 08/12/2005 06:26 PM PST

In our (Jewish) tradition we say: "refuah shlaymah" ("a complete healing")

Tell those doctors & nurses that your readers said to take good care of you!

Posted by Richard Silverstein @ 08/11/2005 11:38 PM PST

Don't read the blog for a couple of days and this is what I get. Anita, I'm really sorry to hear the cancer has come back, and if it means anything to you, we'll be praying for your recovery. Let us know if you need anything.

Posted by dw @ 08/11/2005 09:58 PM PST

Well crap. I wish I did not know what it is like for someone I know to be fighting cancer but it sort of feels like I have had more parents and adults in my life fighting cancer than not. I am sick of asking my Mom what my stepdad's PSA count is everytime I talk to her.

Posted by Jake of 8bitjoystick.com @ 08/11/2005 01:35 PM PST

Best to you. Sort of sucks to beat it once and have it return. But, attitude is everything and you've got one fantastic attitude. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. You and I might actually wind up with the same hair style - eh?

Posted by chas Redmond @ 08/11/2005 12:43 PM PST

Anita--

Thinking of you and pulling for you...

jm

Posted by jm @ 08/11/2005 09:24 AM PST

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there.

Posted by dargie @ 08/10/2005 10:16 PM PST

I'm sorry to hear this. Please let me know if Brad and I can help.

Posted by Holly Matter @ 08/10/2005 11:57 AM PST

Hugs and best wishes from Dan and Lisa and family. Keep us posted.

Posted by Dan S. @ 08/10/2005 10:31 AM PST

Oh, Anita! Know there are so many of us thinking of you with love and prayers...hang tough.

Posted by Jenny @ 08/10/2005 09:22 AM PST

From an occasional reader who has been enjoying your posts for the last couple years that I've been reading weblogs, I just want to give you my best for you and your family.

Posted by rjbadger @ 08/10/2005 09:18 AM PST

All my best wishes for the best possible developments and news.

Posted by Gary Farber @ 08/10/2005 09:05 AM PST

Hang in there. We're all pulling for you.

Posted by Laura G @ 08/10/2005 08:28 AM PST

Hugs from this end, too.

Posted by Dan Lyke @ 08/10/2005 06:32 AM PST

Good luck!

Posted by Mikhail @ 08/09/2005 10:32 PM PST

Anita, the energy and absolute positivity we readers have seen over the last few years are exactly what will see you through this sidetrip on the muddy path. Strength be with you always!

Posted by BillSaysThis @ 08/09/2005 06:17 PM PST

You've beat this before; I'm sure you'll beat it this time too. My thoughts are with you.

Posted by ralph @ 08/09/2005 04:09 PM PST

Sorry you are having to deal with this again. Our best wishes for a speedy and complete recovery! And please feel free to ask Janice or myself for help whenever you need it...

Posted by Alan Rosenthal @ 08/09/2005 02:02 PM PST

Nine feet, here you come!

Posted by agm @ 08/09/2005 01:36 PM PST

Oh no! Good luck with the treatments. I know you can beat this.

Posted by litlnemo @ 08/09/2005 12:56 PM PST

I'm sorry to hear about it Anita, I wish the best for you and I hope you beat this.

Posted by John Aho @ 08/09/2005 11:19 AM PST

We're pulling for you, and Luke knows we're available and so should you.

Posted by Ulrika O'Brien @ 08/09/2005 11:11 AM PST

Yikes! Hope everything goes as well as possible.

Posted by jeffy @ 08/09/2005 10:43 AM PST

I'm so sorry to hear that you are sick! But you are a tough lady and can beat this. Get well soon!

Posted by Jacqueline @ 08/09/2005 10:42 AM PST

I'll be thinking of you. Good luck with it all.

Posted by Laurel Krahn @ 08/09/2005 08:32 AM PST

*sigh* I'll be thinking of you!

Posted by Debbie @ 08/09/2005 08:24 AM PST

I'm sorry to hear the news, Anita. We'll be thinking of you. Let me know if there's any way that we can help.

Posted by Tommy Williams @ 08/09/2005 08:22 AM PST

I'll be thinking of you. I hope everything goes well, and the treatment is as easy for you as possible.

Posted by Vicki Rosenzweig @ 08/09/2005 07:46 AM PST

Oh, no. *hugs* Let us know if we can do anything to help: I'm sure the girls wouldn't say no to a playdate with R----, for example.

Posted by Garrett Fitzgerald @ 08/09/2005 07:08 AM PST

Anita: I'm keeping you and Jack and the rest of your family/friends in my thoughts.

Good luck!

Posted by Cynthia Gonsalves @ 08/09/2005 07:06 AM PST

I will pray for your rapid and complete recovery.

Posted by Kai Jones @ 08/09/2005 06:44 AM PST

*hugs* I hope that it goes well for you, and it looks like you're doing what you need to do to up your chances. Much luck with this.

Posted by liralen @ 08/09/2005 06:07 AM PST