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We have progressively improved into a less spiritual species of tenderness -- but the seal is not yet fixed though the wax is preparing for the impression. |
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Saturday, January 31, 1998
The original plan for Jason and my getting together on Friday evening was that I would pick him up at his office, take him to my place and drop him off, then I would go to my sister's house for dinner (my nephew's birthday), then go back and we'd see a movie.
When I picked him up Friday afternoon (at his home, not his office, a tough day at work meant that he bailed early for some mental health time), I thought that maybe I hadn't given him the correct impression about what the birthday part of this program entailed. It was possible that he thought it would be a kid's birthday party, with about twenty-five children running hither and yon. That's enough to give anyone pause! So I explained that the people who would be there would be my sister and brother-in-law, another couple who are friends of the family, A---, my film festival buddy, and my two nephews. That's all! Just a quiet dinner. When I put it that way (and I'm sure he sensed that I wished he could see his way clear to attending), Jason agreed. I was pleased! And I did appreciate that the "meeting the family" part of this evening was still a lot to ask.
So we got to my sister's house and helped put the leaves in the dining table (the big beautiful table that belonged to my mother, great for large groups but too wide for standard tablecloths). J---, the birthday boy, had requested German Chocolate cake, probably because that's what we had for A---'s birthday last fall. He said, "For the kid's party, let's just have a regular cake, because children might not like the German Chocolate cake. But for our party, let's have the German Chocolate!" I was tickled by his wish for sophistication, combined with consideration of others. My sister M--- had decided to make the cake (and frosting!) from scratch. None of us had made this type of frosting before, so the rather cryptic recipe ("Stir over medium heat until thickened and golden brown.") had us guessing. If it starts as a golden color from the butter and eggs, how brown does it need to get? How thick is thickened?
The dinner menu, by J---'s request, was make-your-own burritos. He had really requested bean burritos, but his mother thought we should have some other options available (chicken, chopped tomato, cheese, red bell pepper, etc.) to make this seem more festive. Somehow at dinner the conversation got on to Woodstock, and I found out that Q---- (the man of the other couple there, boyhood friend and bandmate of my brother-in-law), had been to Woodstock! The other people already knew that, but I don't think anyone had heard how he rode in the same car as the only man to bring a gun to Woodstock! He told about this with funny Boston accents and all, how a tough guy (a "wise guy"?) in the neighborhood had decided at the last minute to ride along, and how appalled they all were to see him putting on a shoulder holster when they got there.
J--- was happy with his presents.He is seven years old now, which really doesn't seem possible! Software from me, a basketball from the other couple, and a jaw harp and harmonica holder from A---. Jason was the first one to get a sound from the jaw harp. After some delicious cake and ice cream, we looked through the paper to see what movies would fit our time frame. We decided on The Tango Lesson.
We drove back to my place, then walked to the theater on Broadway from there. It's been incredibly warm for January, which has made walking around my neighborhood a lot more pleasant. We just made it with a few minutes to spare. I really like The Tango Lesson. I think I saw it at the Seattle International Film Festival last summer, as one of the movies we aren't supposed to talk about (shh! don't tell that I told!). Since Jason and I had watched Orlando, also by Sally Potter, the last time we got together, it was interesting to compare this new one.
It's not a movie that everyone will love, but I really liked the self-referential story of a woman director (played by Potter herself) who, blocked on the story she is supposed to be writing, goes out to see a tango performance and is captured by the dance. She takes lessons, and develops an odd relationship with a young, handsome tango dancer, who would love to be in the movies. Too bad they don't make those kind of movies anymore!
I had forgotten, when I picked the movie, that there was so much of an older woman/younger man theme in it. Jason is younger than me by a significant amount! Luckily, beyond that and the fact that I'm learning to dance, there aren't any further parallels between my life and the movie.
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By request of a reader, I'll talk a bit more about Jason here. (And if no one had actually requested it, how would you know? But someone really did.)
Jason first sent me mail in response to a personal ad I have on yahoo. It was a great letter, written in the third person, describing his reactions as he read my ad. (It's surprising how many responses I get that, after I've put the effort into writing my ad, consist of: "You sound like an interesting person. Tell me more about yourself!" Hey, it's your turn, buddy! I already went!) He disclosed that he was younger than me, then talked about some other stuff, then said "He hopes she's prepared to be open minded..." Well! The younger part I could deal with, since my search criteria were already pretty broad. But this open-minded thing? That sounded ominous! It could mean anything, from animal sacrifice to.... But it turned out to be just another reference to his age.
Oh, he was the person I was speaking of when I asked about doing a search on Deja News on a person. I did own up and he didn't mind at all. He said, "I was jealous that I had never thought to do that."
Our first meeting was our first date, rather than going the usual route of meeting for a "check you out" coffee or drink. Jason's a big guy, bearded, with medium-length wavy brown hair. I haven't yet managed to get a picture that does him justice, so no link yet. I liked his sense of humor, and the effort he was willing to put into trying a new activity that I liked to do, swing dancing. He also initiated talk of getting together again, which is a plus!
Our second date was an all-day thing! We figured if we could stand each other for that many hours, we'd get along. And we certainly have! I realize, though, (and I think he does too) that a chunk of the positive feelings and sensations we are going through are the natural result of endorphins and projecting good things and past memories onto each other. In my Introvert estimation, we still don't know each other well. Solution: spend more time together. So we will.
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Saturday, I spent the afternoon at Jason's place. I had only glimpsed it when I picked him up for our first date. It's a plain apartment, with a collection of garage sale furniture in the living room and the fancy Mac (with a big monitor) getting pride of place in what would be the dining area of a non-geek's domicile. I reposed myself on the couch and dozed and watched Highlander (the original movie) while Jason washed dishes and got the place ready for his gaming buddies. Yes, Jason is a gamer, which is an interest I haven't shared yet. I'm sure I'll get into it. He's done some writing on gaming topics, and has been published in a Steve Jackson magazine!
He watched part of the movie with me, and was surprised when I was moved to a quick gust of tears by the scene where MacLeod (Christopher Lambert) was holding his dying wife after living with her for fifty years. Hey, it was a sad scene! (I swear it wasn't the older woman/younger man thing again!) Jason hadn't realized that the tape he had bought was a special edition, with the original theatrical trailer, and selected scenes with voice-over commentary from the director and producers, following the movie. I was glad to be able to point this out to him. Goodies like that are part of the reason I got my laser disk player; secondary audio tracks, stills, "making of" specials, all make it seem more worthwhile to buy a movie. I also love the CD-quality audio when watching opera on laser.
* * * * * * * *
Saturday evening was Wally's Wine and Cheese tasting party. I gave up alcohol a while back (it makes me sneeze so much that other people get annoyed.) so I was going to bring some alcohol-free wine. I have tasted a few that I liked. But the grocery store I went to didn't have any, so I brought my regular NA beer instead. I also brought some cheesy dip and crackers, but I needn't have. There was puh-lenty of food!
The party room at the Newmark Tower (the downtown highrise where Wally lives) was very nice! It truly looked elegant, with comfortable chairs and couches, a terrace to admire the view, and a functional kitchen. There was even a sound system, with jazz standards playing softly in the background.
Even though I was what I considered late, I was still among the early arrivals (of course!). I wore my patchwork dress, and this time I didn't forget the beads that I bought at the Potlatch auction, which I did forget Friday evening. Wally didn't wear shorts, as he had threatened to, but a sensible outfit of black slacks and shirt, and regular shoes, not sandals. I had requested that he wear his tux, but he felt he'd be working too hard cooking the potstickers to be comfortable in it.
It was great to see Miss Veektoastia, a Cacophony friend that we haven't seen enough of lately. Another friend, Cynthia Shelley, whom I know from MSDN days, also turned up. Wally knows a lot of people! A friend who I reminded myself that I didn't really know was David Wright, Wally's cohost on Don't Quote Me on This, the cable access show. I was amused when I looked around at the crowd, then went over join the group he was in. I asked myself, why did I do that? and realized that in my mind, he was a familiar face and I felt comfortable with joining his group. My subconcious mind doesn't know that I don't know him in real life! He understood when I shared this phenomenon with him. It's very common, especially in the comedy biz, where there is one-way communication from the performer to the audience for ten or fifteen minutes. The audience members sometimes want to talk to the comic afterwards as if they've known him for years, but he doesn't know them at all. (Again, we come back to one of my reasons for writing this journal: to complete the loop between me and the online writers that I like to read.)
I was home and in bed before midnight. I was rather tired!
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