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Canceled
Friday, March 6, 1998 Gaming was canceled tonight. I got a call from Jason two hours before I would have been at his place. He said that he'd been up all morning on the phone (talking to who? I don't know.) and was going to cancel gaming and everything (everything meaning that I shouldn't come over either). Oh, and would I send mail to the group and let them know? He said he'd call me later tonight, after he woke up. How did I feel about this? Disappointed. I wanted to see him! Angered and annoyed. I'd be pissed at almost anyone who would cancel a meeting or event with such little notice, without an extremely vital reason, which I haven't heard yet. Hurt and saddened. The way this went down really makes me feel that I don't have that value for him that I would like to have. Ouch! The reverse situation just isn't conceivable! And that is what really saddens me. This is the risk we take when we let other people into our lives. We are vulnerable to them: to their thoughtlessness, their bad behavior, or that they might not feel the same about us as we do about them. But it's still better to make the effort, to be open to possibilities, than to live in isolation.
Firedrake reads me, at least sometimes! She was moved to respond to what I said about humor mail yesterday, and of course agrees with me as all sensible folk do. Ha! my scheme for eliciting email worked! In zine writing they call that putting in comment hooks. I find I like being on people's humor lists (I mean like my old friend Julie who runs a humor clearing house list that sends four messages a day), if they only forward the good ones. I filter it to a folder and keep the very best. Then if I find a good one, I have someone to send it to who can put it to good use!
So, by way of comforting myself in my disappointment, I watched the laserdisc of Mozart's The Marriage of Figaro that I bought a few weeks ago. I had watched the first two acts with my nephew J---, last week when I took him to dinner. It's a beautiful production from the Opera de Lyons. The singers are all good, but none of them are familiar to me. I enjoy the farcical humor of the plot, and I love the music, of course. There are emotional moments in the opera that touch my heart: the tender but astringent flirting and teasing between Figaro and Susanna on the morning of their wedding day; the Countess bewildered by her husband's betrayals, but resolving to stay constant and loving. She is no martyr, but in the end her grace and forgiveness suffuse the whole piece.
Since I had Friday night free, I took the opportunity to visit the Savoy Swing Club's practice session. This takes place just a few blocks from my house. It was great! Cat Daddy Chris taught a half-hour lesson. The step was face-to-face Charleston, with several variations. I like learning a step that I can do right away! It was fun dancing with some new people, most of them very good dancers. Only one made me feel like he had his agenda of steps he wanted to practice. Instead of leading me, he just did those steps and I felt like I was doing my own thing. The point of partner dancing is to pay attention to your partner!
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