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NorwesconI am already kindly disposed towards you. My friendship it is not in my power to give: this is a gift which no man can make, it is not in our own power: a sound and healthy friendship is the growth of time and circumstance, it will spring up and thrive like a wildflower when these favour, and when they do not, it is in vain to look for it. |
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Saturday, April 11, 1998
It's been a month since Jason and I broke up. (That's the first time I've written it like that, rather than saying he broke up with me. I write it that way now because I don't like having two different links blending together like that!) As I said on Thursday, I didn't want to continue communicating via email only, and I wanted our first meeting to be one-on-one, so I wouldn't be inhibited by social expectations in regard to behavior or feelings.
I also wanted to give him the chance to get to Norwescon, the regional science fiction convention that's happening this weekend. He's never been to a convention! Given his interest in gaming and writing, going to a con would be a good thing for him to do, and I wanted to do it with him.
So we arranged that I'd come over around noon today, and we'd go!
* * * * * * * *
He told me later that he had no idea of how I would behave when I walked in. He had been running over all the possibilities in his mind. I was calm, and happy to see him. I gave him a hug, and a bag of shirts that I had bought for him at a thrift store before the breakup. (He's a large size, so while we were dating, I kept my eye out for clothes that would fit him. I don't do this now.) As we were driving to the convention (in a hotel near the airport) it did feel strange. That section of highway was the exact spot where we were on the last time I saw him! (We broke up over the phone.)
We got to the hotel, and I followed my policy of parking at the edge of the parking lot to the extreme! I knew it would be crowded at the hotel, so I drove into the suburban streets behind, and we parked several blocks away. There were fans a-plenty visible from the street, and of course it was PIB (person in black), geek, and costume central as soon as we got inside. I realized then that I had confused the interiors of that hotel and another one in Bellevue, but I soon got myself straightened out. We went to registration and got our day memberships, then picked out some programming to attend.
We certainly didn't make the same choices I would have picked on my own, but the panels we attended were interesting! "Where to Sell your Horror Fiction," "Game Design Mechanics," and "Quick and Dirty Spaceships" (about the X prize -- carry three people to low Earth orbit and back, then do it again three weeks later) were all worthwhile. We also visited the hospitality suite, art show, and dealers room, then had a very nice dinner in the hotel restaurant.
I was tiring emotionally and feeling a bit fragile physically, so we went to one more programming item: Dogbert and Catbert VS. Pinky and the Brain -- a contest for World Domination. This was very funny if you enjoy these comic strip and animated characters, and I do. Jason was in his element making smart remarks from the floor; I think he'd do well as a panelist if the topic was right.
We drove home, I took some ibuprofen, and we talked. Since Jason feels every positive emotion for me except romantic love, he gave me great feedback when I caught him up on some details of what I've been up to the past month. It was great to be able to share with him that way and feel comfortable. I was on the cusp between laughing and crying, and tipped either way numerous times during the evening.
Jason and I never do anything by halves! Our dates were never just a few hours long, they usually lasted all day or all evening. This "not-a-date" expedition lasted all day as well!
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