Good Will Hunting

Tew bring up a child in the wa he should go -- travel that wa yourself.
-- Josh Billings [Henry Wheeler Shaw]

Tuesday, February 9, 1999
One year ago: Shopping

The other day, Jack suggested that I should come over one evening this week, and I picked tonight. I expect to be out dancing Wednesday and Thursday, and Jack will be taking his daughters over to his parents' place in Eastern Washington over the weekend.

I stopped at the "old" QFC for groceries on the way over. I wanted to make that good chilaquiles I got from the Vegetarian Epicure cookbook. I don't think I've made it since my sister's birthday, a year and a half ago! But it's one of my favorites.

The door was unlocked when I got to Jack's house, but his daughter A---- wasn't there. I just came in and started cooking. When Jack arrived, he was worried that I was ending up doing the cooking every time I come over, but actually we've been alternating this fairly. Earlier in the day, when my cold was hitting me harder, I'd thought about not cooking, but I felt better by the time I left work. He proposed that we should go see "Shakespeare in Love," if dinner got cooked in time, and I thought it would.

Chilaquiles, at least in this rendition, is a Mexican lasagna-type layered dish -- tortillas (I use tortilla chips rather than frying fresh tortillas), cheese, tomato stuff, other stuff, with a mixture of plain yogurt and milk (some versions include eggs, for a real custard thing) poured over, then the whole thing is baked. The food turned out just fine, though I couldn't find any non-salted tortilla chips. For the tomato-y part of the sauce, I included a can of fire-roasted chopped tomatoes, which did taste good! Jack didn't want this to be all-vegetarian, so I threw in a can of turkey. It didn't really affect the finished product.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *    *

First crisis: Jack told A---- that he had plans for her to spend next week at her grandparents' and other relatives, when she is out of school. He doesn't feel that leaving her at loose ends around here or at her mother's place every day is a wise idea. She protested a lot at this. She'll be bored, she can't see her friends, why didn't he consult her, etc, etc. Finally she settled down to negotiating how many phone calls she can make per day.

Second crisis: after dinner, A---- wanted to bring one of her friends with her to the movie, which is rated R. Jack didn't want to do this without speaking to the friend's parent, and the friend was on the outs with her parent and didn't want to do that. The girl was cool with it, and took off when we were getting ready to go, but A---- felt humiliated and stymied again. She had a tantrum, Jack decided we wouldn't go to the movie at all and sent her to her room, a lot of unpleasantness followed.

I don't know how A---- can go through these blowups, then a half an hour later, she's happily studying the periodic table. I think her father is much more disturbed than she is, for a longer time. I'm not enjoying it either, but I can remain more detached because she's not my daughter.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *    *

When I brought some videos over a few weeks ago, we only watched one of the movies. Jack and I still hadn't seen Good Will Hunting, so that's what we watched. I can see why it was so popular. I don't think it really brings out how strange being a super-intelligent person can feel, though. I was reminded of Ari in C.J.Cherryh's Cyteen who feels like she's floating in space, with no one to knock up against. But depicting a genius, when the author or filmmaker (and audience member) is not a genius in that way, is a perennial problem.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *    *

It's hard to know what to say (beyond not saying anything) when Jack and his daughter have these problems. I see him struggling -- I see them both struggling! But I'm not a parent. And if I do offer an idea, it's frustrating for me to have it rejected with, "that won't work!" or a similar reaction.

Jack told me that because I picked tonight to come over, so early in the week, he didn't have a valentines card ready for me. And he'll be away over the weekend! So I told him he could give it to me next week. What a sweetie! I've told him that mushy stuff is just fine by me.